A Sacrament of Healing -Penance and ReconciliationAccording to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1431): "Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed. At the same time it entails the desire and resolution to change one's life, with hope in God's mercy and trust in the help of his grace. This conversion of heart is accompanied by a salutary pain and sadness which the Fathers called animi cruciatus (affliction of spirit) and compunctio cordis (repentance of heart.)." Take a deep breath...It is a gift of the Holy Spirit, the Counselor, (John 14:15-16), to help enlighten us to all of our sins through prayer. Yes, some of our sins come to mind right away, but there are other sins that have been committed, that we may not recognize as sins immediately. I believe that the more one goes to Confession and receives the Eucharist, the more we are able to give ourselves a better look in the mirror. And with the grace of the Holy Spirit we could more clearly see ourselves, our wounds, and our sins. We are all wounded. We all walk in this world and are not immune from being hurt. Confession is a way we can be healed, and bring us closer to the Lord, closer to each other, but what is sin and how do you know if you have sinned? What is sin?(CCC 1849-1850): Sin is an offense against reason, truth and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity. It has been defined as "an utterance, a deed, or desire contrary to the eternal law." Sin is an offense against God. (...) Sin sets itself against God's love for us and turns our hearts away from it. (...) In this proud self-exhaltation, sin is diametrically opposed to the obedience of Jesus, which achieves our salvation." One night after prayer I lay in bed contemplating, "What does God want for my life," I suddenly sat upright dumbfounded and realized that I have been sinning greatly to my husband! Remember that prayer we say in Mass: I confess to almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault; (...) One of my daily prayers to God, is asking for help in me doing His Will in all things. For me to be able to do that, I realized quite suddenly, I have to get over my own issues with Pride. Pride goeth before a fall...And as providence would have it, my young son just came in from playing outside with a boo-boo/scrape on his knee. I picked him up, wiped away his tears, listened to what happened, cleaned his wound, put on a bandage and sent him back outside to play with a hug and kiss. Confession is kind of like that too: we come in wounded, the priest listens to us, counsels us through the pain, gives us penance and absolution and off we go firmly resolved not to sin again. We ask God to help us when we have fallen through the healing sacrament of Confession. Jesus shows us His amazing love and mercy and then off we go back to the playground, to the neighborhood, to our life with a better knowledge of how to avoid getting hurt again through sin, in my case through the ugly sin of pride. What do I mean by that? I humbly realized (and fully admit) that I had allowed a callus to form on my soul and on my marriage. I hadn't been as kind, as loving and as generous to my husband as a loving wife ought to be. I am no marriage expert, but I liken this callus to plaque buildup on teeth. I hadn't been flossing well and maybe had forgotten to brush before bed a time or two. I took for granted that I had nice teeth. Nevertheless, one must still go to the dentist every 6 months to remove the plaque or it remains and continues to build up. I must say, looking closely at this plaque, it is not at all attractive when it builds up. Love is a choiceSome friends had been recently talking about their specific "love language" and their husband's "love language" and how because of this love language they were able to solve conflicts and grow in their marriages. I had no idea what they were talking about. So I asked them, and my sweet friends lent me a book by author Gary Chapman called: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. I spent a Friday night reading this book and trying to figure out what my love language is and what my husband's love language is. I came to think his love language could be "Words of Affirmation". When I read how to fill his "emotional love tank" with compliments, I felt my whole inside tense up. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to give him compliments. Why? I don't know, maybe I am hurt or upset or angry about something that is underneath the surface. But my thought was - if I cannot get over my pride and stubbornness to willfully and choose to compliment my husband, how will I ever be able to do the Will of God? (And how will my marriage be what it is meant to be?!?) And then it hit me, "Love Your Neighbor"! God wants us to love. This is an active love, this is a choice. I need to actively choose to love my husband and step over my pride, (and wherever did this come from?) I need to choose to be humble and loving with him "in my thoughts and in my words." I need to ask for forgiveness from him and from God," in what I have done and what I have failed to do". By actively choosing to ask for forgiveness and to begin genuinely complimenting my husband, I will be doing the Will of God. (And I'm sure it will get easier, and seem more natural, the more I do it. ) Humble pieAs I contemplated this reality more and more over, I determined I need to go to confession to rid myself of the stain of the sin of Pride and to ask Jesus for help to be more humble, especially with my husband.
Dear Lord, I pray for the grace to be humble - especially with my husband, to be able to give him sincere compliments. Help us to grow in love together with You. Help me to better speak his "love language". Help us to be a real testament of a great marriage to our children, so that if they are called to the vocation of marriage they will be loving, supportive, forgiving and understanding to their spouses. I pray for the children's future spouses along with their parents, that they too may come from joyful, intact, loving families and marriages. Dear Lord, in this throw away culture, please help us cling to you and your precious Blessed Mother. May she watch over us and bless us and guide us to become holy families and great saints. I pray that we each choose You in all things. Please lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil. Help me to see my wounds, my sins and to trust in You to heal my wounds and bring me closer to Your Merciful and Sacred Heart. All through the Immaculate Heart of Mary to Your Most Sacred Heart Jesus. Amen.
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AuthorCatholic. Living out the vocations as wife and mother. Feeling the Holy Spirit's prompting to raise her family with the light of Christ and help them all become Saints. Archives
September 2017
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